HALLOWEEN COSTUMES

I'm not sure if you know this but I am very serious about my Halloween costumes. I mean "I'm making my costume in July" serious. Oh, no my friend. No skimming on the sauce when it comes to important matters such as Halloween. Usually by November 1st I know exactly what I'm going to be. So I've narrowed my(my husband and my) costume options down . Here they are:

Carmela Soprano

Costume Requirements:

Some 3-inch acrilics, big gold cross, strong Jersey accent, and a fuck load of hair spray and this baby is in the bag!

Oh! And "Ay! Go fuck ya muda!" will go a long way this getup.

KENNY FUCKING POWERS!

So, obviously, Daniel would be K.P. and here is the issue people . . . am I going to be the "Busted Daytona Stripper" to the left or Kenny's high school sweetheart April to the right?

Costume Requirements:

Stripper: Fake boobs and snake skin everything. Very feasible.

April: Tan, brunette, and says "Keeney" in every sentence.

. . . I'm swinging for the boob job. DAYTONA STRIPPER IT IS!

Ginger McKenna

Costume Requirements:

Gorgeous 60's updo

Sultry makeup

Bitchin' vintage sequenced gowns

Terrible coke problem

These costumes aren't lookin so bad, people.

Austin Danger Power's FEMBOT

Nothing gets me hotter than a man wearing nothing but a skin tight metalic space suit! A perfect example of what I am talking about can be displayed perfectly in the picture to the left. See what I mean? Ladies, stop drooling.

Costume requirements:

Long Legs

Bullet shooting nipples

Bump-its

Now I have the bullet shooting nipples and the long legs, but the bump-its?! That might be a tight one.

So, I'll just put this one on the maybe list.

Wait, it is just me or was it reallllllly bizzare how Austin Powers defeated the Fembots but put cigarettes in their mouths? What the hell? That was such a hole in the logic of the writers' plot. It just made no sense to me.