Whenever someone blurted out "You know what sounds great right about now? S'MORES!" I'd always nod in agreement and convince myself and those around me that, yes, s'mores would be damn delicious right about now.
But as of late I did some Gandhi-intense soul searching.
I've come to realize the following:
S'mores do not sound good about now!
S'mores do not sound good ever!
They are not only mediocre tasting at best but they are completely impossible to eat without looking like a barbarian who has not eaten in weeks.
What should be an enjoyable childhood-fav snack experience turns into a disheveled, gooey, sticky, crumbly game of "hot hands." Once the first bite is taken, the sandwich cracks in half and all hell breaks loose. One tries to devour as much s'more as possible while the graham cracker deteriorates in your hand and onto your lap. The melted marshmallow stings from palm to fingers and syrupy chocolate gushes from any and all openings. Your mouth can't act quick enough to net all scraps from falling.
These guys are assembled with ingredients that are perfectly different in consistency.
It is almost as if the person who concocted this thought "Hmmm. I want to make a quick campfire snack. How about using . . . some chocolate. Which is pretty manageable until exposed to the slightest bit of heat. A marshmallow. Which is stiff and gelatinous if under roasted and tastes of charcoaled ass if overheated. Oh! And to sandwich these two items together: two extremely brittle graham crackers!" What a fucking genius.
Oh! And there is ALWAYS someone in the s'more making bunch that delivers the "Can I have s'more smores? Mhamamawaahahha" line.
Note: If someone ever says that in my presence- it is a guarantee stab in the heart with your own marshmallow roaster.
That being said, I would not mind eating one of these babies. Truffle Truffle has made gourmet s'mores! A cute hostess gift for all those campfire connoisseurs. Believe me, they're out there.
Dying to try:
Root Bear Float
Black Truffle
Strawberry Basil
Banana Cream
No comments:
Post a Comment